Chaska Oscario, Archmage of Shang-Ri-Llama
Chaska Rayhan Oscario is the first born child of the Indian peasant Rayhan Bayuaji during 506 BC (Pre-Cambrian Era). Also knowns as The Archmage, he is the leader of the current rebellion of the Llamas, and his crusade has just begun. Early Life "Llamas are fucking sweet." -Chaska, during his birth Chaska was born on 56 Hibember, 506 BC on the plains of Africa. He came out of the fleshhole of an Indian peasant by the name of Rayhan Bayuaji, while he was mating with a male silverback gorilla. It is said that when he was born, the Earth shook beneath him, toppling all the Llamas in the world. The Golden Llama statue stationed at Antarctica burst out of the ground, killing a total of 3 penguins and a narwhal. Chaska's birth was dubbed "The Heebie-Jeebie" after what his adoptive gorilla parents called him. After his birth, his father stopped mating with the gorilla and eventually left Chaska for Madagascar. Interestingly, no records show that he ordered a boat and it is theorized that he simply swam all the way to Madagascar from the Congo Basin. As Chaska grew, his penis size also grew. Shorter, that is. The wild gorillas took notice of this, and started to frequently engage in sexual acts with Chaska in order to preserve his manhood. Every time he quaked with an orgasm, a Llama would erupt from the ground in a random area. After engaging with approximately 500 sexual acts with fully grown gorillas (all males), Chaska got bored and decided to set off to North-Eastern Somalia in order to find a place that he could truly call home. His gorilla parents tried to stop him, yelling gorilla curses such as, "No hair on chest? You fuckboy!", to which Chaska responded with, "I am an independent black transgender who don't need no man or need you, ya cunt." He flipped in the air, landed, and gave off a mating scream, while flapping his hands erratically. He cartwheeled all the way to the front door of the Somalian president, shot him with his 50. cal, causing a mass disruption in the government, creating what we now know as the most corrupt country in the world. In Somalia After murdering the president in cold blood, Chaska took office for another two hours. He let the entire Somalian government dissipate in an erratic frenzy, similar to piranhas gnawing at penile appendages of cattle. After about 4 days in Somalia, Chaska decided to move again, as he got bored. Middle Life During his early 20's while riding a horse's penis across Kenya, Chaska realized a bulge in his ass and realized that he has grown a swollen vagina. Chaska realized that his gorilla parents have cursed him because he left them. Chaska instantly started rubbing his vagina to summon his gorilla parents. As he tried to summon them, their spirits took form of the horse he was riding. Chaska realized that he must destroy them before they lure him into having oral sex with his parents, so he waited for the perfect moment, as he knew that a horse is weakest when it has an erection. Chaska decides to try to seduce the horse with his penis by spitting on his chest for goodluck. As he did this, the horse's penis was slowly tingling while hardening an erection and Chaska knew it was his time to strike.Chaska instantly pulled out his penis to use it as a sword and cut the horse's balls off. As he did this, he was screaming uncontrollably and started to breath out from his mouth over and over again like a handicapped bull. Chaska consumed the horse's balls to stop it from breeding. Soon after, Chaska cut off half of the horse's body and let it bleed to death. Chaska did this to condemn his gorilla parents eternally. Soon after, Chaska consumed the horse's dick and shit it out to remove his vagina. After the horse testicle escapade, he set of on his journey to find another new home, this time accompanied by a horse corpse and armed with a penis thicker than steel. Category:People